Celibacy increases love of others

There is one area of the spirituality of a seminarian, which some seminarians may see at first as merely a sacrifice or penance. To those outside of seminary, it may seem as absurd or at least unnecessary. In the Gospel of Matthew, we hear about this spirituality: “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given” (Matt. 19:11). 

For a Roman Catholic seminarian, this line is likely quite familiar, since they are Jesus’ words on celibacy. Celibacy is a defining characteristic for the priesthood in the Catholic Church. Therefore, it is often on the minds of seminarians or on those considering entering seminary. As I mentioned, at first glance, celibacy can seem crazy or just a heavy burden to bear. For myself, however, celibacy has become a gift to me and an essential part of my spirituality. 

It is first and foremost a gift. A life of celibacy was not always the clear choice for me. Looking back now, I can see that the Lord has unfolded this gift in various stages of my life through graces in prayer. I did not just try to want it more deeply. For a time, in fact, I tried to actively want the opposite. 

The second thing I learned over time is that celibacy entails a mix of being empty and being filled. The first part is likely easier to understand. Human companionship is sacrificed. Having natural children is sacrificed. There is something in this that lends itself to an emptiness. Yet, the beauty is that, by being emptied, the Lord has been able to fill me all the more. The Lord himself assures those who sacrifice such things for him will be rewarded a hundredfold. This has been my experience. Being emptied by these sacrifices has been necessary for me to be filled with God’s gifts to me. 

The ways in which I have already begun to experience this hundredfold are mainly spiritual gifts. First, I have Jesus as the bridegroom of my soul. Now, this is true for all Christians: “For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your builder marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you” (Isa. 62:5). Yet, I have the privilege of living this much more literally. The Lord is truly my inheritance. In some sense, I do have a claim on the Lord. He has promised to be mine. Likewise, I am his. The Church understands this and has seminarians often pray, “O Lord you are my inheritance…” (Ps. 16:5) as they prepare to serve Mass. 

Another gift from celibacy is an increased love of others. While I do not have one person on which to focus my love, the Lord provides a great love for many. On the days when I remember that the Lord is the most important person in my life, then it is much easier to love those I meet. 

In addition, whenever I encounter an obstacle or some difficulty in life, I know that the Lord is drawing near. Jesus suffered much in his life and it makes sense that one with whom he shares everything would share in his suffering. While this does not always make the cross easy to carry, it becomes another opportunity to be with the one I love. Whatever the difficulty, Jesus permits it only to be with me in it. This is a great source of encouragement for me in times of trial. 

All of these gifts come together and form the spiritual lens which seminary has formed for me. Yes, celibacy has its thorns, but despite these, it forms one of the most marvelous spiritual bouquets imaginable.