Honoring the peaceful and restless phase of life

One sure sign of being on the narrow Godly path is when we find ourselves walking in opposite direction to the modern culture. One example of this is the stark contrast between the secular and the sacred beliefs and attitudes toward getting older and the elderly.  

Worldly wisdom pursues youth and physical beauty and measures human worth based on productivity and usefulness. The world pressures us into fighting the aging process. We can see this by following the money. According to Statica, Americans spend $1,760 per year on beauty products and services (this excludes procedure such as botox injections and plastic surgery).  

The opposite path, guided by Godly wisdom, honors the elderly as evidenced by the many exhortations throughout the Old and the New Testament: 

• “Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged” (Lev. 19:32).
• “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.” (Prov. 16:31).
• “Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father” (1 Tim. 5:1-2).

Sadly, many elderly spend their final years in a nursing home. While their physical and emotional needs may be met, they are isolated from their faith community, and there is an intense need for spiritual support. Sensitive to this need, Holy Cross in West Fargo regularly provides Mass and communion services at six senior living facilities in the area. This is made possible by a group of volunteer extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion who rotate to assist the priests and deacons during the services and bring communion to those unable to attend.  

I am privileged to be one of these ministers. Every visit, I encounter the reality of the loss of independence and the struggles that come with frailty and infirmity of the body. I also sense a restlessness and longing for God along with a deep peace and humble surrender—surely the fruit of a long, faith-filled, sacramental life with Our Lord. 

This final season of our earthly life can be summed up as “peaceful and restless.” St. Augustine of Hippo acknowledges this human condition in his Confessions: “Thou hast made us for yourself, O Lord, and we are restless until we rest in thee.”  

On Easter Sunday, I took communion to a bedridden resident. His heart’s treasure, his family, is on display on the walls of his room. He is proud of the gallery of pictures of his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and excitedly showed me the sonogram of his soon-to-be great-grandchild. His wife died suddenly long ago, but her memory is ever-present in our conversations. We talked about the miracle of the empty tomb and resurrection of Our Lord and Savior. The good news that death has died and that Jesus transformed the grave into a gateway to heaven. He became animated and exclaimed making a knocking motion with his hand saying, “Then, hurry up Jesus! Open the gate!” We chuckled. I told him that God wasn’t done with him yet. I asked him to pray for me, for the unity of Christians, and the poor souls in the purgatory. 

Another resident, who has earned her “crown of glory” with her beautiful silver hair, who is articulate, with a loving heart and seasoned wisdom, shared about the tragic death of her young son years ago. In a dream her son came to her and spoke about his regret of not going to confession. He said that he wished everyone could know how important it is to confess our sins and experience God’s forgiveness. With tear-filled eyes, she said that she wished everyone would hear her son’s message. We spoke about our total confidence in God’s infinite Divine Mercy and how we are a people of hope—the Easter people!  

She was thankful that during Lent, the priests from Holy Cross offered confession, and she was able to receive the graces from the sacrament. She prays for the souls in purgatory, for married couples to persevere in hardships, and for young people to say “yes” to marriage and be open to life. She also prays for vocations so we can have more priests. I pointed out that Jesus is closest to us when we are at our weakest. I encouraged her that this is a very sacred stage of her life and that he is not done with her yet. She smiled and said, “Well, I am done with me!” I heard the same “peaceful and restless” longing in her heart which ministered to my soul. I began to understand how truly holy it is to be patient, obediently waiting while you long to go home. 

The source of this sacred desire for our eternal home is God himself. Our Lord’s Sacred Heart, which burns for the love for each of us, relentlessly pursues us. The prophet Jeremiah reassures us that God has a plan for our good (Jer. 29:11) and St. John Cardinal Newman points out that God is not confused and “He knows what he is about.”  

I was reminded that time is not ours and that my life belongs to God. In his providence, God chooses perfectly, in fullness of time, to send the invitation for us to go back home. 

We, the volunteers, are privileged to serve and have the honor of learning by witnessing how to eagerly await and be ready to say yes! In the meantime, we are ministered to by the peaceful and restless hearts of the elderly.